I remember being told as a seventh grader that I would have to cut my hair because of split ends. When my hairstylist turned the chair around to show me my new look, I broke down. I had never worn my hair so short. At the time, short for me was at the neck. My face felt so open. I was so worried that everyone else would think that my hair was short, but I quickly found that no one had even noticed. It was then that I realized that I was not my hair, or my clothes, or any other materialistic thing that I worried other people would judge me for. Those are just accessories.
At some point in our lives, we may have been told how important it is to love ourselves. I have found that this requires taking the time to really get to know and embrace our strengths and weaknesses. The latter is often times challenging. In a society where validation is sometimes sought through the amount of likes you receive on Instagram and Facebook, or the amount of views you receive on snapchat, self-love is unfortunately standing on a balcony ready to fall over the edge. Media has shaped the way that we view our own beauty.
It is important that we take a moment to reflect on how we feel about ourselves and not reflect so much on how other people view us. Ask yourself, do I wear makeup because I want to, or because I feel like I’m not pretty without it? Do I wear extensions because I do not feel comfortable wearing my natural hair? If you find that you wear makeup or extensions etc. because you are not confident in your natural beauty that is perfectly okay. Feeling comfortable in your own skin is the ultimate goal, but like any goal it takes time, determination, and dedication to achieve them.
Take steps to build your confidence. Write compliments on post it notes and read them every day, or look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are perfect flawed but that is okay. Find what works for you and stick to it. You have to love yourself more than anybody else does. If you do not embrace who you are then no matter how much someone else loves you, it will never feel like enough. So be sure to explore the deepest depths of your inner self.
If you ever feel like you are not beautiful in your natural skin, just remember that there is “no need to fix what God already put his paintbrush on (J. Cole).” Self-love is the best love, and it is the one kind of love that no one can ever take away from you. Whatever you do, say, or wear own it and rock it.
Hey! It’s summer! Be free and happy and danceful and uninhibited and now-y! ~Terri Guillemets
A time for beach days, BBQs, sun-tans, and relaxation. Summer is a beautiful time to reflect on what has taken place thus far, the midpoint of the year. Are you halfway to meeting your goals, have you kept your new years resolution? Take the time to stop and reflect to analyze if you are on the right track to successfully meeting your goals you set for yourself at the beginning of the year. Summer may also be the time that you take a step back and regroup and reestablish the goals you previously set for yourself in the beginning of the year. For example, I set a new years resolution and 2014 goal for healthy eating and weight loss, well lets just say life has gotten the best of me. So last week I took a look at what I was doing right and was I was doing wrong that was preventing me from meeting my weight loss/health lifestyle goals. I know I need to become more active and limit my fast food/casual dinning intake. I am definitely going to step it up a notch and make a conscious effort to change. Ask yourself:
Have you set your goals?
Are you on track to meeting those goals?
Are you in the mindset to actually achieve your goals?
“Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again.” -Bikram Choudhury.
Check out this “feel good” video:
Has this word/phrase become as annoying to you as it has to me? “Twerking” Every time I hear the word I cringe. Why have we made this “act” so popular? Is Miley Cyrus to blame? Or is she just someone to exploit the obscene gestures we as black women have been doing all along?
There was a recent article in the New York Times written by Teddy Wayne titled “Explaining Twerking to Your Parents”. He states: “Explain that twerking is a dance move typically associated with lower-income African-American women that involves the rapid gyration of the hips in a fashion that prominently exhibits the elasticity of the gluteal musculature.”
After reading this line multiple times I had to take a step back to recognize what he sees and why he feels this way. Did I become offended, yes at first, but then I realized that there’s some truth in his statement. If you think about it, who do we see doing these moves? Just type in YouTube, “Twerking” and you’ll be astonished at the results. It’s just sad. We as African American women have to do better. But now that Miley Cyrus is exploiting the act, we as “WOMEN” need to do better. Then Mr. Wayne went on to say, “They will reasonably wonder why Miley Cyrus, who is white and wealthy, does it at every opportunity. Patiently respond that, Ms. Cyrus, twerking is a brazenly cynical act of cultural appropriation being passed off as rebellious reclamation of her sexuality after a childhood in the Disneyfied spotlight…”
Hilarious, Mr. Wayne. Really “cultural appropriation”? The definition of cultural appropriation is “the adoption of some specific elements of one culture by a different cultural group.” So is he right? Is “twerking” an element of African-American culture?
This whole thing annoys me and makes me feel that the entire world needs The Black Female Development Circle, Inc to come to the rescue of all women. We all need to self-develop, stay educated, explore, enhance and celebrate womanhood.
Please read his entire article. I would love to hear your opinion.
Do you ever catch yourself speaking negatively? What if that negative thought became true? Most people don’t even realize it but they automatically speak negative. For example do you say:
“I love myself and I’m working to be as healthy as I can.” You accept and love yourself as you are and work to take care of yourself.
“I hate my weight; I’m tired of being fat and out of shape!” You speak negativity into yourself and this lowers your self-esteem and makes it harder to make any positive change.
What we grow up hearing and being taught becomes a huge part of our belief system. I believe it therefore I speak it. If you talk/speak more about the problem then you believe it. You can tell what a person believes by what they do. How about speaking positive things and through prayer your words will be brought to light.
Positive affirmations are a simple yet powerful and effective way to change your life.
I am peaceful.
I am healthy and whole.
I am happy and joyful.
I am Prosperous.
I attract wealth.
I am affluent and live in overflow.
I am successful in all of my endeavors.
I am creative and full of positive energy.
I love and enjoy my job.
My heart is open to give and receive love.
My heart is open to embrace my soulmate.
I am loved and I am in love.
Start off by writing down your positive affirmations to get those positive juices rolling.
This scripture says it all.
II Corinthians 4:13, 17 and 18
13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[b] Since we have that same spirit of[c] faith, we also believe and therefore speak,17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal
Remember, what you say about yourself and what you speak about yourself will become your future.
A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves. —Lao Tzu
In order to lead, one must serve. A servant leader is one who puts the needs of others first and helps individuals develop and perform at their highest capability while still achieving the goals set forth by the organization.
Become a servant leader by incorporating the following practices in your leadership style:
- Listening: Servant leaders must listen to verbal and non-verbal signs and interpret what others want and support them through decision making.
- Empathy: Understand and empathize with others. Consider what the others are feeling, experiencing. Appreciate and respect them.
- Healing: The ability to heal your self and others is a powerful force for transformation and integration of relationships.
- Awareness: A servant leader must gain general awareness and self-awareness. This helps the leader better understand all situations.
- Persuasion: A servant leader doesn’t take advantage of its followers. Instead they convince others, rather than coerce compliance.
- Conceptualization: The servant leader must look at a situation or problem above and beyond the scope of day-today realties.
- Foresight: A servant leader must have the ability to foresee likely outcomes of situations. Allows the leader to learn from the past and to achieve better in the future.
- Stewardship: Commitment to serve the needs of others. Its also emphasizes the use of openness and persuasion rather than control.
- Commitment to the growth of people: A servant leader is committed to the personal growth of all individuals within the organization. The leader would nurture personal, professional and spiritual growth from its followers.
- Building community: A servant leader identifies means to build a strong community within their organization and with surrounding business/organizations and communities.
“Servant Leadership” – Robert Greenleaf