Why is it that when Woman A is dating the same man as Woman B, and when she calls it to the other’s attention, the women get irate with each other as opposed to the man who’s playing them both?
I had a situation where I was dating a man for over a year, and he was seeing women all over the country, and I didn’t know about it. I found out after receiving a clue via the infamous Facebook website, and I called the young lady at that point. She was initially speaking to me as if she were appreciative, etc. However, after she must have spoken to the guy involved in this situation, he was able to make her believe I was the “bad guy,” and she proceeded to become angered with me. She even went to the extreme of emailing my boss at my place of employment. Needless to say, it was unnecessary drama in my life.
On the other hand, we have women who know they are the other woman, and purposely live a deceitful lifestyle. They even sometimes know who the other woman is or sometimes are even friends, and still continue to play along as the “other woman.”
I think its time that we as women and as Black women, learn to help each other. Besides, when it comes to men in this situation, they have no problem keeping quiet, and helping each other out. I believe if we became involved in the movement to change our society’s outlook on how we should behave, and conduct ourselves as “ladies,” then eventually; society would have no choice but to accept it. Can we start today ladies?
Let’s talk about friends and relationships for a minute. Now ladies, when you have first met a man and are in the beginning stage of the relationship do you notice something? Something like, your girlfriends criticizing every little thing. Or what about this scenario…you and your girlfriends are out, the man and his guy friends are out at the same place, you all know each other are hanging around and what do you hear next? Girl, did he just let that girl put her arms around his and start whispering in his ear? The next thing you know you are standing in awww, trying to figure out what’s going on, your girlfriends are in your ear the rest of the night, talking about how this man is playing you, and how to let him go. But, in your mind, you are thinking about that hour and thirty minute conversation you had three nights ago, the constant text messages throughout the day, and all of the upfront information you already know, that he didn’t hide from you, some vital information. So, while you are in the scenario, all you can think is what’s going on? Why would he do this? He knows I’m here. Is he really that brave? The rest of the night has been ruined because these are things that are only on your mind the rest of the night. Oh, wait, did I mention that later on in the night the man comes and dances with you, like nothing happened. That really throws you for a loop. The next day, you are at work, you are wondering why he hasn’t called or text you, should you call or text him, should you listen to your girlfriends who are saying just let him go? You pick up the phone, and call a friend who wasn’t there to see what happened. And she tells you, that you don’t have all the facts. She says just wait and see what he says when you talk to him. He calls and says let me tell you what was happening last night. You hear his story and you believe him, but later on at dinner at girl talk time, you tell your girlfriends what he said, and here comes the he’s lying, he had all day to think of that story, why are you being foolish, he is playing you. But, you are ignoring the most important thing that is trying to talk to you….your heart. What do you do? Do you listen to your girlfriends who think they are just saving you from heartache? Or do you listen to the man who tells you what happened, and you have no reason to think it’s false? The moral of this story is, your friends keep your best interest at heart. But, that also results in a very high protective level. Let your heart lead you. You can take into consideration what your girlfriends tell you, but the final decision should come from you and your heart. And if you do that, a strong relationship can come out of it for you. And true friends will stand by your side, regardless of what decision you make. But best believe, they will be on stand by, to pop off, if that man needs to be checked in the future :). By the way, would you like to hear what he said when he explained the situation? Well, just stay tuned for my next blog…that’s a whole other story in itself.
It’s crazy how we as women have come so far but still hold ourselves back with “Bitterness”. Why are we so bitter? Why do we hold grudges? It’s an emotion that is crippling us and we must stop it as its spreads from generation to generation. Ask yourself: do you cringe when you see something that you can’t have, a black man with white woman, seeing your ex? Being bitter can turn into violent and/or self destructive behavior that can lead to a world full of aggression.
Why choose to live to life with such anger and hatred? Instead turn that negative energy into something positive and just GET OVER IT. I know it may sound easier said than done but it’ll lead to something greater in the long run, I promise :-).
So next time you see a girl that “tried” you, a guy that you previously dated, a teacher you think cheated you, etc. Just think that life is too short to be dwelling on something that doesn’t matter any longer or that happened in the past. Let’s move on and Let go.
Oftentimes we find ourselves asking why women are so “bitchy” “catty” “immature” and “petty” and in the midst of picking apart everything that is wrong with her, we slowly but surely become everything we despise. It’s important as we become older and strive to develop ourselves that in dealing with other women, especially black women we learn to handle situations and difficulties properly.
Especially in school and the workplace it is important to come from a place of respect and love when dealing with our sisters, we are fighting the same battles and demons. As said in prior blogs many of us have the disposition of “I don’t do females” and that is why we ask you to keep this blog in mind whenever you find yourself frustrated and ready to pull your claws out. Set an example for the next woman, you’d be surprised how you may deflect someone’s negative preconceived notions about you and receive a more favorable outcome.
The details for Purple Power 2010 are finally here!
Check the information page for all the details!
We look forward to seeing you at Walt Disney World, the place where Dreams come true!