I shared with the Alumni members of BFDC that recently I have been plagued with the question of “why?” … Why am I doing this thing or pursuing that thing. Beyond asking myself “why” all the time, I have also started judging myself if my answer wasn’t good enough. If I was going to go through the trouble of questioning myself, then I wanted my answer to be deep and philosophical. However, our National Director of Alumni Affairs, Crystal Harrison encouraged me to just accept that I do these things and pursue those things simply because it makes me happy. It was a simple answer, but it was right on target.
The more I thought about Crystal’s comment, the more I realized that my need for better answers was really more of a need for the appearance of better answers. The truth of the matter is, my need for a better answer wasn’t for me, it was for me to be able to explain it to others in a way that they would appreciate (and possibly be impressed enough with to “like” it 🙂 ). We live in a time when, thanks to social media, no accomplishment is worthwhile if the whole world is not made aware and no event actually happened if there is no picture to prove it. So many times we turn down opportunities to be great because there will be no public gratification, or we accept challenges because we think “everyone” will be impressed with us.
Even with all our attempts to publicly display our awesomeness, it has also become a trend to doubt the legitimacy of this greatness and the “social media emotions” that come along with it. If a person person posts their happiness, then they are craving attention, bragging, or lying. If they post their sadness they are craving attention, socially inept, or lying. It seems that the more we seek acceptance from the world, the more the world finds a way to reject us… But why?
It’s because we haven’t accepted ourselves. We are unsure of ourselves, and thus we ask others (who most likely are also unsure of themselves) to provide that assurance for us. It’s a never ending cycle that will only lead us to more uncertainty. So, I encourage my BFDC sisters to consider your motives. If they are in any way focused externally, then reevaluate and find a way to focus on what will simply make you happy, because it is really easy to tell when a person is not living their truth.
Will I stop posting life events on facebook and twitter? Probably not, but I will certainly try to release my attachment to how my life is received by others… If it makes me happy, then that’s good enough for me :-).