I often times meet pessimistic people or people who go to a job faithfully that they hate. Sometimes I ask them “how long have you been here?” and the response I usually get is at least ten years or more. On the inside I am shaking my head, and I wonder what happened to their dreams and hopes… Did someone not love them, or support them? How did they end up in this situation? I don’t ask these questions in a judgmental way, but I want to understand when they stopped believing. When did they stop fighting for what they believe in and when did they allow someone to DEFER their DREAM?
We all have dreams or aspirations, we start out has small children saying I want to be astronaut or a lawyer or some type of superhero. At this age we are so excited when we run and tell anyone who will listen about these dreams. As we get older things change and events happen that can impact how we view ourselves and the people around us. We start looking for that validation from our peers and acceptance from all of our social support systems. It is at this point where we want validation of our dreams and hopes; we want our friends and families to be PROUD of us. It is during this these time where we do one of two things: turn those dreams into reality or we let someone else’s nightmare defer our dream.
Some of us buy into the negative phrases “why do you want to do that?” ”how long have you been in school?” or my favorite, “oh you will never get into that program”. (Inset laughter here). It sounds crazy but this is the reality of the situation and we encounter these negative comments from people or places that we would not expect like friends, advisors, or family.
But at the end of day it’s up to the dreamer to make everybody else a believer. You must fight for your dreams; you must plan for your destiny. The only difference between the successful and unsuccessful is that the successful did not GIVE UP. Let me be clear, being successful does not mean you are rich and famous. It means you did not give up on your goals; it means planning with purpose and working with passion. It means graduating with that degree, getting into that program, and it means at the end of the day you can truly say “I did my best”.
So I say to the readers of this blog asked yourself have you let you dreams be deferred?
I have added one of my favorite poems by Langston Hughes
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?