What Are You Asking For?

In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I have a question:

Do women deserve to be beaten by men?

If your answer is no, what if that woman started it?

If your answer is still no, what if that woman didn’t start it, but she escalated it?

If your answer is still no, what if that woman is Evelyn Lozada, has a widely known bad attitude, and/or was headbutt by a charismatic successful man… Does she deserve it then?

#Ochothathoe is now a common hashtag on twitter. It means to headbutt someone (usually a woman) the same way Chad Johnson allegedly headbutt Evelyn Lozada. Lots of people I talk to had a real problem with that whole tabloid story, not because they had doubt that he did it, but because they felt like Evelyn knew the type of man he was when she married him, so she shouldn’t have been mad. As if he didn’t also know the type of woman he was marrying or as if everyday women don’t get mad when the men they love do the things they know them to be capable of doing.

In the court of public opinion, the guilty party is clearly Evelyn. Statements like “She said he could cheat, so why was she trippin, ” or “She’s been asking to get her a** beat for quite a while,” were all over social media just after news of the incident broke.

So now for my next question. Since there is clearly a double standard, and some women deserve to be beat (or at least headbutt) while others don’t… what are you asking for? What behaviors do you engage in that would lead the masses to have no sympathy when you “finally get what you deserve?”

Is your too tight skirt and low cut shirt asking to be raped?

Is your bad attitude begging to get cursed out?

Is your hatefulness requesting loneliness?

Is your greediness a strong desire for emptiness?

Is your jealousy and gossip demanding that you always be unsuccessful in your own life?


Are you a person who wants to be loved in spite of your flaws?

Do you believe only God can judge you knowing that He never will?

Matthew 7:1