In conversation with a friend of mine the other day, I asserted that I was traditional in terms of my values related to marriage. He countered with the idea that as a college educated woman, I cannot consider myself traditional; rather, I belong to a new norm of women going on to pursue careers in lieu of marriage and being a stay at home mom. This conversation came about over a debate about finances and if as women we would accept the proposal of a man who did not have a ring. I stated no, as if his personal finances are not in order to that extent, then he should probably reconsider proposing. The ring not only symbolically represents his ability to make big investments in our relationship, but also his ability to manage his own personal finances. This friend of mine was in disagreement with me, positing that there is a double standard and in today’s progressive society women should be more willing to contribute financially. He then went on to say that as a woman if I hold a man accountable in that manner then if my finances are not in order I should be willing to turn down his proposal as well, which I explained I would have no problem doing.
This brings me to the point of this blog post. Ladies we as women are in a constant search for empowerment and elevation of status, and this desire is present when choosing a mate. It is, however, imperative that we as college educated women take charge of our own stability and personal finances prior to entering into a union from which we expect that of our men. We should hold ourselves responsible financially so that we are not a burden to the union, but also as the biggest form of empowerment there is. We are stereotypically labeled as being “bad with money”, “shopaholics” etc. due to the fact that we oftentimes do not have the proper reign in terms of money. I challenge you: take charge of your money. Make it work for you. Save your own little nest egg so that when it is time to enter into a union, you do not do so empty-handed.