If you have a desire to empower, educate, and inspire women on your campus and in your community, the Black Female Development Circle, Inc. is the organization for you! As a reminder, National Dues are due on October 1, 2014. If you desire to be a member of one of our collegiate chapters for the 2014-2015 fiscal year, please refer to the instructions and deadline reminders below:
- National dues must be paid by October 1, 2014 (through the collegiate chapter on your university’s campus)
- National Chapter Membership dues are $25 per person.
- A late fee of $5 will be assessed from October 2, 2014 until October 30, 2014.
If you desire to register as an Alumni/At-Large Member for the 2014-2015 fiscal year, please click on the link below to fill in your registration information. After you submit registration, a PayPal invoice will be e-mailed to you. Please review the deadlines and instructions below:
- National dues must be paid by October 1, 2014.
- National Membership dues are $35 per person.
- A late fee of $5 will be assessed from October 2, 2014 until October 30, 2014.
We are looking forward to another year of our members furthering the mission of BFDC by educating, exploring, enhancing, and celebrating womanhood!
I overheard something VERY disturbing today. I was in a store and two young women were talking. I heard one of the women say “I am so blessed God gave me the man of my dreams!” (I continued to listen because I wanted to hear more about her happiness). The woman continued her statement with “I love him but he just needs to hurry up and leave his wife!” her friend followed with “He will soon…just be patient.”
I was very disappointed by what I heard not only because of the woman who made the statement but also because of the woman who was encouraging her. It broke my heart that this woman clearly did not have enough self-respect to realize she was settling for less than any woman deserves. Because I am a Christian woman I was even more appalled that she mentioned God led her to this man who was someone else’s husband.
As humans I understand we all make mistakes but as women we HAVE to do better with supporting and uplifting each other in our times of need. As a woman, in my opinion, we should never encourage each other to do harm to ourselves or other women. We already have double standards that we fight against every day because society places them on us. Let’s not fight and tear each other down as well. Building our self-respect must start somewhere so let it start with YOU.
There has been a time in all of your lives that we have heard the phrase “Think Before You Speak.” With all the controversy in the news and in our personal lives this week I want to reemphasize the importance of observing your audience. This week wait 5 to 10 seconds to respond to your audience when having a conversation. Really take the time to listen and decide on a response. When given the opportunity to share your thoughts observe your audience, remember the steps below, and hopefully you will not have to apologize for something you meant to say. Have a great week.
Recognize Your Situation
Observe the Conversation
Observe the People
Consider the Information
Is the Information Effective, Necessary, Accurate, Timely, and Appropriate?
Gauge the Reaction
Be Thoughtful About Your Tone
Have you ever woken up one morning and just knew you were not the same person as the day before? I know figuratively we always say development and growth is constant but have you literally felt different? Maybe it was after some triumphant or tragic event. Maybe it was after a conversation you had with a friend or significant other or maybe you just got up one day and said “I am not the person from yesterday.” I can tell you that it is quite a weird feeling however if we pay close attention, we outgrow our former selves a few times over the course of our lifetime. The question is can we let go?
One of the hardest things I have ever had to do as an adult was to be just that—an adult. The decisions I would make as a teen would no longer satisfy the needs I have as an adult. Slowly but surely I felt myself changing, outgrowing certain things, vices, and people. My mother would always tell me “Every level has a new devil.” I didn’t understand as a child but boy did it hit me as an adult. At each phase of my life I had to deal with some new issue and it was up to me to take care of it. The most difficult “devil” was letting go of certain people in my life. I was such a people-pleaser, always wanted be everyone’s friend but I had no idea how much it was taking a toll on me. I had outgrown the people that took me for granted, those that used me, and those that really didn’t wish me well.
At this very moment, as I write this blog, I am again having that feeling of being different. My life is going through several changes and I understand that in order to successfully get to the next phase, I will have to outgrow my former self. I encourage you, my sisters to pay close attention when your life go through these inevitable transitions. What/Who can carry along with you? What/Who will have to remain?
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
Why is it that so many people have a strong desire to make a difference and be important (often for all the right reasons), but very few make it to the level of acclaim that they desire?
There is a school of thought that teaches that you can be and do anything you believe you are capable of being or doing. Some have interpreted that to mean that as long as they tell themselves it’s possible, then the hard part is over. But, often, there is a huge difference between what we tell ourselves and what we actually believe.
Do you really believe you’re worthy, or do you just wish for your big break? Watch this Ted Talk featuring Brene Brown and ask yourself if your actions indicate worthiness or wishful thinking.
It’s wonderful to know that we as black women can come together to build such a beautiful connection with one another. That is one thing I love about the Black Female Development Circle. We are there for one another to help whenever needed yet I find that sometimes we forget that we have this wonderful resource. We can’t all be super woman all the time and try to handle everything on our own. Sometimes we just need to realize that life can be overwhelming whether you’re planning an event or dealing with the stress of a class. That is the best time to lean on your sister and allow them to help you. Don’t worry about getting on someone’s nerves because there will be a time when they will need you too. You will be surprised to learn how willing most people would be to help you. So lean on me and I will lean on you and we can achieve something greater together than we would alone.
The 7th Annual Purple Power Seminar
“Obeying the Traffic Signs of Life”
Who’s Going to Stop Me?
As all the chapters return to school I hope you all remember some of the principles from Purple Power.
We had an excellent time and I hope everyone is fired up for the semester ahead. The opening activity gave us a chance to reflect on “The Power of Now.” Through this activity we are encouraged to live in the present, not let the past or future define your today, take time out to smell the roses, learn what life is trying to teach you in this stage in your life, and do not over-think it. Our workshops were both informative and spiritually edifying. I hope each of you will share your personal experience with the other members in your chapter. The speakers inspired us to use the traffic signs of life as a warning to prepare for what is ahead, adapt the 5 factors of success, and think outside of the box. We have been encouraged to define ourselves for ourselves.
Let us pay close attention to the Traffic Signs of Life.
1. I hope you all eliminate things approaching a dead end.
2. Remember, when making big change you may not be able to bring all of your stuff.
3. Don’t allow yourself to be boxed in; when you look in the mirror try to see yourself as God sees you.
4. We are all wonderfully created, and successful beyond measures.
Have a great semester, until we meet again in Washington, DC for the National Conference!!!!!
It’s that time of year again!
Yes! Purple Power has come upon us once again!
There are 6, (count ‘em) 6 DAYS until Purple Power!
On behalf of the National Board, I would just like to say how EXCITED we are to bring to you the 7th Annual Purple Power Seminar “Who’s Going To Stop Me? Obeying Life’s Traffic Signs”.
This year’s seminar will be hosted at the University of South Florida in Tampa, Florida, which is also home to our newest BFDC chapter!
Join us as we take a deeper look into our organization as a whole, listen to THREE guest speakers, participate in a workshop facilitated by one of our very own and most important of all, bond with our sisters from other chapters.
We look forward to seeing you there! Let’s paint Tampa Bay PURPLE!
National Director of Special Projects
“A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.” -Vernon Howard
To be self-empowered, “one must have the strength to do something through one’s own thoughts and based on the belief that one knows whats best for oneself.” How about asking what do I want? Is this meaningful? Does this have purpose and value to me? What do I believe? The opinion of family, friends, coworkers, etc shouldn’t be a factor when seeking your goals. A person aiming for self empowerment must make positive choices and set goals. Developing self-awarenss, the process of identifying your strengthens and weaknesses. What are you limitations? Limitations are key to personal empowerment.
Self-empowerment is liberating because taking full responsibility for your life means you:
- make your own choices and decisions;
- live according to your own personal operating system and values;
- are free from the anxiety of living up to the expectations of others;
- experience the joy of being authentically yourself.
However, it’s frightening because you:
- can no longer blame others for your failures and disappointments;
- can’t cling to childish, dependent security from others;
- have to let go of the “old you,” even if that person was holding you back.
Through empowering yourself, those fears no longer exist because you are now taking personal responsibility for your decisions and actions. Things are easier and life is more enjoyable because you are creating it on your own terms rather than reacting to it.
So what’s the secret to living a self-empowered life? The real secret is awareness. Once you are aware that you are giving away your power through fear and blaming, you are more than halfway there.
Take a step back and analyze whats before you. You’re no longer to play this victim, your no longer here to please others. Understanding YOU and taking care of YOU is the goal and priority.
When was the last time you willingly pushed your boundaries and did something outside your comfort zone? Truth is, many people live boring, monotonous daily lives simply because it’s safe and easy. Seldom do individuals actually enjoy, let alone seek out, uncomfortable situations. This has been the story of my life for the last 22 years……until recently. I took a chance and applied to a graduate program that I not only felt was “out of my league” but also 900 miles away from the only home I had ever known. Well, I got accepted and surely would not think to pass up such an amazing opportunity. So here I am. A living witness of what can happen when you decide to expand your horizons. Although it’s only been a short time, I am convinced that I have learned much more about myself than I ever could by staying in my comfort zone. I’ve learned about my strengths and what I can do without. I’ve explored new places and soaked up new experiences. Never in my life did I stop to think about what I could be missing out on by staying in a familiar place.
What awesome opportunities are you missing out on by only sticking to what you know? Imagine the relationships you could form and transform and the quality of life you could have simply by challenging yourself to step out and do what TRULY makes you happy rather than what’s comfortable. Besides, good things in life come to those who take risks. If you want to grow, take the time to challenge yourself. You will never be able to reach your full potential by staying in your comfort zone. Furthermore, your decision to challenge yourself gives you the confidence to continue on a journey to achieving your wildest dreams. This is not to say that you will never fail. Failure is inevitable, and because of that, you cannot allow it to hinder you from taking steps to accomplish your goals. For the last year of my life, I have faithfully lived by this Bill Cosby quote “In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” So take a chance. Surround yourself with people who challenge you to grow and push you to succeed. Allow yourself an opportunity to go beyond the limitations you may have unknowingly set for yourself. You have so much to learn, and there is so much more that you can be. Accept the challenge to challenge yourself.