“When are you going to have babies?”
“It’s that time for you to have babies!”
“When’s the baby coming along?”
“You’re not getting any younger! When are you having kids?”
“Are you pregnant yet? I bet you are!”
If I had a dollar for everytime I have been asked this question since getting married, I would be able to pay for my future “baby’s” college tuition!
I must admit, I am guilty of asking a woman, either newly engaged or married when she was going to start having children. It wasn’t until I got married myself that I realized just how invasive these questions truly are.
Not convinced? Imagine this: You’ve just gotten married and you are trying to conceive. It’s taking a lot longer than you hoped. You are seeing all of your married friends beginning to have children and you’re starting to get more and more anxious, possibly even envious. You’re being bombarded with questions as to when you’re going to have children when the people who are asking don’t know how much you want them and how long you have been trying to have one.
Or how about this: You’ve been trying to conceive and after no success you’ve gone to the doctor only to find out some devestating news: You’re infertile. People are asking you when you’re going to have children when they don’t know that you’re unable to.
What about this? You’re so excited that you are now pregnant but you want to wait your 3 months until you share with the world you’re pregnant. Then you suffer a devestating loss: You’ve had a miscarriage. You’re asked when you’re having children and they don’t realize the loss you’ve endured.
Or how about on the flip side: You think children are cute but they are not for you. You and your partner agree that you do not want children. It is incredibly annoying when people constantly ask you when you’re having kids when the answer is simple: You do not want them.
We should all take some time to think about just how invasive it is to ask a woman about when she is going to have children. It can be frustrating, annoying and hurtful to continuously ask her as well. A woman’s reproductive rights are very personal to her and we should all be cognizant of what we are asking, when it is really none of our business