When I look into the mirror the reflection I see is not of myself but of my grandmother, mother, and sisters.
Have you have found yourself saying, “I don’t like females” or “I don’t get along well with a group of girls”? And my favorite one of all “I get along better with guys”. When I hear some of my younger sisters say these things I wonder where it did go wrong, at what point in our lives did we learn this thought process? The thought process that our fellow sister is automatically our enemy, or plans to do us harm.
It is important that we place the same value on our female relationships as we do with our male relationships. Often times we do not offer them the same forgiveness that we offer our male counterparts. For example we all have witnessed women remain in relationships with men who have disrespected them, abused them, lied to them, and cheated on them. When asked why do you stay, some responses are “no relationship is perfect” or “we have to work through our problems” or, my favorite, “I love him”.
Why can’t we put this same effort into our relationship with our sisters, they are the ones who are there for us when we are mistreated, the ones we share our insecurities with. Our sister will wipe our tears away when we cry, listen to us vent on the phone for hours and tell us that it will be okay. Our sisters are the ones who build us up when the world has torn us down.
So ask yourself – Am…I… my sister’s keeper, or do I keep my sisters away?
Dating can be a difficult thing especially when you know what you want, know what you don’t want, and you are sure about what you cannot deal with. The options are extremely slim, but at least there is a chance for you to be able to be HAPPY. Happy because you can be straight forward with your guidelines and it’s either stay or go, because at this point everyone is clear on expectations. It’s not being too pushy; it’s just being self-assured and honest.
Continue reading You are a good catch—why aren’t you in a relationship?
Is it really? We often use these words to cheer up a woman who has been dumped or rejected by someone she is interested in, but I have come to wonder if this is even a valid form of comfort. First, what exactly did he lose? I’m sure you’re a wonderful specimen of a woman who never does anything wrong (and if you do there is a perfectly good explanation for it), but he let you go because he didn’t want you. So if he didn’t want you, what exactly did he lose? Look at it from the other perspective. Has there ever been a guy that kept pursuing you that you weren’t interested in? Once they finally got the hint and left you alone, did you experience a sense of loss… or relief? My point is not to make you feel worse; my point is to encourage you to heal from the inside.
Continue reading Relationship Woes: It’s His Loss… or is it?
The National Board of the Black Female Development Circle, Inc. is pleased to present a new design for the national website! As we bridge the gap between technological innovation and the historical significance of being the champion for the cause of women, we are excited to announce that we will become a more vocal proponent of womens’ concerns. Be sure to check back often as we blog regularly about issues pertaining to our members and women in society.
Also, give us your feedback! Feel free to post comments related to the website and let us know how you feel about the site and/or what you want to see. We look forward to hearing from you!